Our journey from heaven to hell and back proves there’s hope for improving marriage.
Seriously. I never knew we were that couple… or that we ever could be. That couple that could work at home together… and spend every minute together… complement each others’ abilities… and actually enjoy each other.
In 2016, we celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary. Whew!! It’s hard to believe we’re that old… or that it’s been that long! For many years, we didn’t feel confident we’d make it to this milestone. And now here we
are, not only still married, but HAPPILY working together EVERY DAY.
For many years, we were the couple barely hanging on. We were the “why do they even stay married?” couple. We struggled. That’s an understatement. I describe those days as very dark. Life felt dark and heavy. It was hard. Really hard.
But we stuck with it.
And then, miraculously, we became the couple that found great joy in our children together. We were happy watching our babies and toddlers learn and grow; we found fulfillment doing everything with and for our children.
But I always wondered what would happen when the kids were gone. All of our happiness and togetherness was tied up in our roles as parents. I feared we really only were happy together because our amazing, beloved children united us.
And then, miraculously again, we somehow, one day, had a great time together without our children. We wanted more of that time together. We actually began to love and appreciate each other again… outside our roles as mom and dad. I don’t know exactly how it happened. But I’m sure glad it did.
I’m truly humbled and amazed that now we can spend all day, every day together and appreciate and support and strengthen each other. That doesn’t mean it’s always hunky dory; we definitely still disagree often and have very different perspectives. We have trouble communicating. Our short-term priorities don’t always match and sometimes we can be selfish. But we truly value one another and are unified in our love and purpose. So, amazingly, finally, we are that couple.
It’s now been twenty years since we made eternal covenants as husband and wife. We take those covenants very seriously, and are so grateful that we have figured out we can have great joy together… more than I ever thought possible. Seriously. This is better than I ever imagined!!
So we’ve reflected about how and why our relationship has transformed for good over the years, and offer the following reasons. Maybe they will be of help to you. The work that is marriage, is worth it.
I have missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I have lost almost 300 games. On 26 occasions I have been entrusted to take the game-winning shot, and I missed. I have failed over and over and over again in my life. And that’s precisely why I succeed.
– Michael Jordan
How do you strengthen or improve your marriage? We’d love to hear what works for you! Please comment below. And if you found this post helpful, please share it on Facebook or your other social media accounts.[originally published by Hilarie and Ben Robison at www.houseuponarock.com]
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